Tube Fare

Bear Grylls – prepare to seek alternative employment. The Supplies Tube survival kit – the latest release from American outdoor utility tool specialist VSSL – has just made you pretty much redundant, thanks to its facility to make even the least forest-friendly folk feel safe in the wild.

The Tube is actually a weather-resistant, light-yet-sturdy aluminium cylinder chock-full of survival gear that all fits into its TARDIS-like impossibly compact 23cm by 5cm frame.

The contents of this must-have passport to eternal outdoor wellbeing include an LED lantern (with batteries), a compass, a beeswax candle, water purification tablets, a high-tensile wire saw, an emergency whistle, a signalling mirror, a can opener, first-aid supplies and a razor blade (because, after all, it’s important to look good while lost in the wilderness for when the inevitable rescue team and TV cameras arrive). There’s also a set of instructions on the correct use of the Tube’s invaluable inventory. In addition, the kit comes with fishing tackle, fire starters and waterproof matches. So you will be able to set yourself alight while wishing you knew how to fish.

James Otto, a bush-craft product reviewer – that’s a job apparently – said: “I really like how the contents are packaged. It’s very organised and you don’t need to make a mess out of the kit in order to use any of the products.” Fellow reviewer, Devin Stephens, agreed, saying: “The company has put a lot of thought and engineering into their light, and has created one of the best LED flashlight devices on the market.”

The Supplier Tube retails for US$99 (HK$768), plus postage. You may die if you don’t buy it. No pressure.